Quotes to inspire, amuse and enlighten.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

-- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

-- Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.

-- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

640K ought to be enough for anybody.

-- Bill Gates in 1981

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

-- Albert Einstein

In other words, we don't know who said them but we like them anyway.

• Those who trumpet their own sufferings are usually the most deserving of agony.
• A goal without a deadline is only a dream.
• As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools
• When you stop learning, you stop living.
• Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
• All generalizations are false.
• The only thing that hurts more than paying income tax is not having to pay income tax.
• Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
• An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.

Intuition (n):

an uncanny sixth sense which tells people that they are right, whether they are or not.

Dictatorship (n):

a form of government under which everything which is not prohibited is compulsory.

Concerto (n):

a fight between a piano and a pianist.

Communist (n):

one who has given up all hope of becoming a Capitalist.

Book (n):

a utensil used to pass time while waiting for the TV repairman.

Bagpipes (n):

an octopus wearing a kilt.

Advertising (n):

the science of arresting the human intelligence for long enough to get money from it. -- Stephen Leacock.

If man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer

--Henry David Thoreau (1854)

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made school boards.

--Mark Twain

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

-- Mark Twain

Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

--Mark Twain

We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't.

--Frank A. Clark

Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer

-- Sun Tzu

When they come downstairs from their Ivory Towers, idealists are apt to walk straight into the gutter.

-- Logan Pearsall Smith

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

-- Oscar Wilde

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

-- John F. Kennedy

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.

-- Lucille S. Harper

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

-- Ambrose Bierce

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

-- Walt Disney

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

-- Aristotle Onassis

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

-- Thomas Jones

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

-- William Congreve

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

-- Helen Rowland

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

-- Sir Winston Churchill

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

-- Edmund Burke

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

-- last words of Pancho Villa